I have a renewed mind. Just read the first chapter of Proverbs and this is the message I received: One who actively wants to learn the right things, will seek them. Do not follow or associate anyone who wants to entice you into any wrong doings. Serpents never sleep, but do not creep. Those who do not abide await their fate.Who seeks greed, seeks sin. If you crave simplicity, how long do you expect to stay simple-minded? God calls us to his Will, and people still refuse. There will be a point to where we he will call on Him and God will not answer. Continue to do as you please outside of his Will. God is ever forgiving, but God knows the difference between wishers and doers. He, too, has a limit. The ignorant will destroy themselves in the end.
I understand that things I allowed before have caused trouble for me in my past and present situations. I liked to shop, was obsessed with cheeseburgers, and thousands of dollars have been wasted as a result. Especially flying to and from Atlanta. I literally made 500.00 a week and 75% of it was gone half way through the week. I did not have the means to get whatever I wanted as a child, so I know that is where the glutton and need for things became over baring. My high metabolism and athleticism made it possible to eat at least one burger a day and still weigh no more than 133 at 5'7''. Once I ate, and became full I no longer felt empty. No voids. Flying to Atlanta... If I was to start, I would never finish. My child's father resides in Atlanta, and the flying was about average every 4 months and yes, round trip from across the United States. 95% at my expense.Nothing Holy came out of these adventures, but a blessing did. Aside from my beautiful son, I wanted to do the right thing but I thought of my heart, love, and independence before my conscience then. I KNOW when something is not right or when I should be going a different direction but I went against God's Will.
I would blame myself for being a single mother and apologize to my son over and over and that he cannot be raise the traditional American Dream way, but in the end my mess is my message. Love it or despise it.